An Update From the Next Level

Accidental Product Placement. Sort of.

Welcome Back, Everyone!

To paraphrase the common misquote of Mark Twain, rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.

You are excused if you were wondering just exactly what was going on with my hiatus that, while planned and announced back the end of Season One of Building From the Bullet Hole, became unexpectedly extended. I could give you a detailed accounting (and will post about several elements of it in the weeks ahead), but for now I will simply give you an effective summary:

I was Leveling Up.

You may remember my discussion of “Leveling Up,” in the final episode of Season One of my podcast, in which I challenged listeners and myself to “do better” when we “know better.” Then I experienced firsthand what happens once I put something like that out into the universe – I started getting exactly what I’d asked for. From every direction.

So what does that look like? I’m so glad you asked. Here is a random sampling, with more details to follow in the weeks ahead:

·       After getting quality advice from experts, I gave Krelle’s Inferno another big edit – it was simply too long and needed to be hacked down. I ended up tightening the language and taking off over 300 pages. The book is better for it. But that took time and pushed against my eagerness to get it out to agents and publishers, a process that is now fully underway.

·       I began a new career. Yup, I did. After heading in this direction for the past few years, I have officially left formal classroom teaching and academia for a new path in nonprofit leadership. Like most big changes, this one simultaneously felt exactly right and painful – like the pain you know will follow finishing the triathlon you trained for. I am now doing strategic planning and professional development for an underserved youth-focused nonprofit and love every day of it. Hand in glove, as it were…And yet, there’s a palpable layer of sadness underneath my excitement, even though it was clearly the right time to make the move. The process took several months to come together and was exhausting at times, but here I am – in a better place professionally than ever before.

·       I’m upping my game with my author’s website by providing new content weekly, starting December 6. Each Sunday morning, look for an original piece in a new series I’m calling My Sunday Post. My stream of consciousness style will hit on subjects from my own life as linked with global events, history, media, or anything else I feel like talking about. Each piece will be ideal for the contemplative head, heart, and time bandwidths of Sunday mornings. Then, about midweek, I will post a shorter piece on my blog about real or perceived slights, weird arguments I have with my friends about television shows, my most recent musical ear worm, etc. etc. More fun than anything else – which means they will likely cause the most arguments and be the source of many “WTF was that?” email subject lines. And who knows, if I get brave enough one day, I might include some of my poetry there.

·       And the latest – an opportunity emerged to take Building from the Bullet Hole to a new level and I am jumping in with both feet. Early in the new year it looks like BFTBH will become a weekly podcast. So yeah – that’s happening. Stay tuned.

These are all positives, obviously, and there are so many things that have not happened that I count as part of the Leveling Up process - I didn’t get COVID-19, I didn’t relapse, or crash my car, or get involved in a complicated pyramid scheme, or end up the target of a real life Ray Donovan. And I survived the election cycle without taking part in a fruitless war of words on social media.

I also didn’t win the lottery and buy a jet, or get discovered to guest star in The Mandalorian, or – all joking aside – find a publisher for my novel (Yet….yet…..yet).

I also learned something else of vital importance, one that is neither positive nor negative. Just Reality:

When we Level Up, some things – ideas, hopes, beliefs, careers, even people - must be left behind. Otherwise, it all becomes too much to carry forward and there is no room in our arms to pick up anything new.

Leaving things behind sometimes sucks, no matter what Facebook memes say.

As a student of history, I am aware that something becoming “the past” doesn’t devalue it. After all, we learn from the past in the present, and as Indiana Jones taught us (actually, his nemesis Belloch did), we can bury a ten-dollar watch in the sand, and when it is found ten thousand years later it will be priceless. And yet, despite knowing this, I am deeply reluctant to leave things behind even when it is unavoidable. Habits fade. Ideas grow. People leave.

Some hurt worse than others, certainly. Leaving behind my career path has sadness to it, but I’ve been ready for a while now –the opportunity to make it official took time to emerge. People leaving my life, on the other hand, hurts like hell – as does not fighting to stop it. And alongside the hurt, there’s excitement that comes with having a podcast about to do something new.

It’s a messy mixture, and as is always the case, I get to decide how I frame what it means to me and to what degree I let my emotions run amok through it all. As often happens, I remain the source of whatever problem I’m having and am also the best starting point for finding a solution. I endure, reach out for help, listen, and absorb feedback – loving, tough, and both –trusting that I am right where I am supposed to be today.

And today – not yesterday or tomorrow – is enough.

Thanks for coming back in, and I’ll see you on Sunday mornings.