Big Wheel Time Machine

Me and my Time Machine, four years and twenty-five extra pounds ago….

May 2, 2021

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In September 2017, I went back in time - all the way back to the late 1970s. 

I’m not lying - I really did. And I didn’t even need a DeLorean pimped out with a Flux Capacitor driven by a wild-eyed scientist. 

All I needed was a Big Wheel. 

In a span of about ninety seconds, one ride on the Big Wheel - with my longest-standing Brother From Another Mother filming - took me back in time. 

You can even see it happen in this video of the exact moment:

Did you see it? It happened right when I Old-Man Side-Fell onto my back in the middle of the street and Matt nearly passed out from hysteria.

[Editor’s Note: Matt has always had the greatest laugh in the history of laughs. It’s even better to watch than it is to just hear.]

Watch it again if you missed it. Be sure to turn the volume up.

Here’s a hint - it’s the moment Matt and I start laughing our asses off. 

Right then, I was transported back in time. 

Back to when Matt and I played all day, on any day we could. And laughed just like that all the time.

I have a ton of memories from growing up with that guy in Hawaii. So many of them have to do with moments where we were off playing, completely in the moment and not worried about how we looked, how much time we had, or any of the problems we faced on a daily basis. 

Those So Many Moments cemented a lifelong connection between me and him, one that has only deepened over the decades despite years passing between seeing one another. While we have many grown-up conversations and moments that bond us as adults, we ultimately go back to the one thing we were best at as kids. 

Play. 

I’d bet my next month’s paycheck that your Play memories are coming back to you now. 

That’s because Play is such an integral part of our stories, whether we realize it or not. 

And Play is something that many of us forgot how to do - or at least TO do - somewhere along the line as we left childhood behind. 

I, for one, didn’t notice its disappearance and absence for years. Really, it wasn’t until I went back in time that day - on my first visit back to Hilo, my childhood home, in twenty-five years - that I realized just how long I’d gone without Play. 

Right out there in the middle of the street, the back of my shirt soaking with water, I wondered at how I’d let its absence go on for so long. And I wanted more, right away. 

It’s so easy to lose track of Play. For a million and one reasons, with none of them or all of them convincing, we just seem to let it escape us as Grown Up Life slowly encroaches. Or, it gets pounded out of us somehow.

Equal parts in our DNA and a developed skill, unencumbered and unstructured Play - where the activity / game / fun is more spontaneous than planned - has long been seen by child development experts as central to the healthy emotional and cognitive development of every single human being. 

This is true regardless of time, place, culture, religion, or any other way we humans categorize each other into far too often. In fact, a close friend of mine who knows all about this stuff once told me that Play is the only human activity that ALL humans engage in that has no direct utility or outcome attached to it. It’s just for the joy of doing it. 

Think about that for a second. 

That’s some crazy shit. But she’s on to something (she and all the other experts she pointed me to who say the same thing). 

Sure, universal human activities like eating and exercise and sex can all be fun, but they each also have a utility - nourishment, health, and procreation. 

Hobbies have the same elements, but not all humans pursue the same hobbies for the same reasons. Generally, their utility can be relief from stress, healthy skill development, even distraction. 

But Play is Play. It is human beings being human at our most unencumbered, our most natural and creative and uninhibited state. By letting go of any and all expected outcomes and utility, we end up getting the most of it. 

Funny how that happens - when we let go and have fun, we get more from it than any other activity. 

Whether it’s making up worlds on the fly, taking on personas of superheroes and Jedi Knights (or inventing up our own), or twirling in the middle of the grass yard giggling until we fall over, that kind of Play allows our true selves to really come forward and be revealed, to be discovered for the first time as kids or rediscovered for the first time in years as adults. 

Play helps us figure out who we are, give us ideas of where to go and what we want to become. Play shows us why connecting with our best selves and those of others does so much good for us and for the world at large as a result. 

Yep. Crazy shit, this Play stuff. 

Since my trip in the Big Wheel Time Machine, I’ve noticed more and more the need for more Play in my life. 

For me, its absence can leave my life and relationships feeling too heavy, not light and free as I would like. As I’ve worked through all that, I’ve discovered that “light and free” does not mean “shallow and disconnected.”

Just the opposite, in fact. In several of my closest relationships, embracing Play and “light and free” over the past six months or so has actually strengthened and deepened those ties, just as it did for me and Matt as kids. 

The joy of Play and its shared experience appears to inevitably and deeply bind us in love, affection, connection, and value to one another in ways that intellectual sparring, difficult-if-necessary conversations, and hardship may not. 

Yet, as adults, we tend to rely far more on that latter list than the former. At least I have. 

Which is why back on January 1, I chose “Play” as my Theme of the Year for 2021 (as did my aforementioned friend, interestingly, completely separate from my own decision to adopt it). The challenges of COVID have made me get inventive with finding Play, and I am still in the process of really getting into it regularly. 

But each time I do, it’s an incredibly powerful thing. 

So far, my most regular form of Play is dancing to Motown / funk while I cook (using earbuds so I don’t bug the neighbors). One of these days I’ll take a video of it for you to see. I have some serious rhythm and moves. I ain’t lyin’. You’ll see.

[Editor’s Note: He really isn’t lying.]

I’ve also dedicated myself to laughing and relaxing more with those who are closest to me, and I have found that doing so helps me better see opportunities for Play with them. The results have strengthened all those relationships, improved my mental and emotional health, and sharpened my sense of self. 

Allowing for spontaneity, it seems, is key. To be willing to just go for Play when I feel like it or want it or a chance presents itself. And the more I do, the easier it becomes to find Play again.  

That day in Hilo, Matt and I somehow ended up on Big Wheels again in the middle of his street, like we’d done countless times decades before. Spontaneity is our shared lifeblood - always has been. Perhaps you have a friend like that, too. If so, indulge in Play with them again. If you don’t have a friend like that, then can you find one? Reconnect with one? Turn to your partner / spouse and say “Let’s go Play?”

If all humans are wired for play, then they’re all ready and eager for it on some level - even if they aren’t aware of it yet.

And, can you also Play with yourself (easy does it, all - let’s keep our heads about us. Okay, now I’m giggling, too)? You did solo play time as a kid, so your memories can guide the way back. 

For example, I bought a balsa wood glider I am going to go throw around in the park later today. I loved saving up for those and flying them as a kid, so I’m gonna go do it again. I’m excited and also a bit worried it’ll get stuck in a tree, which means I’ll have to chuck pine cones or rocks at it to get it out….

That sounds like Play, too. Sweet. 

See? It’s all right there, yet we don’t take ourselves back to it because we’ve conditioned Play right out of us and each other with overbusy schedules, an overemphasis on work and achievement, and self-consciousness in front of others.  

And yet right now you kinda want to go Play, don’t you? 

Don’t fight it. It’s rad. 

But like getting back into any old activity, we have to be intentional with it. Or at least jumpstart that old instinct.

So how about this month we all do something together called “JDK’s May Play Challenge?”

I’m giving you advance notice here, as I will be going into details of it on tomorrow’s episode of This Show Is All About You, but this is a real thing I’m suggesting - a month long pursuit or experiment in reconnecting with Play.  

Or something. 

The idea is for each of us to rediscover Play - on our own, and with others. Not super organized, but spontaneous. Creative. Goofy. Open ended. Even made up out of thin air. 

It might feel challenging at first. If so, ask yourself why that’s the case, and be honest with yourself in your answers. Then, still find ways to Play that maybe take those answers into account, and / or find others to go Play with you so you feel less self-conscious.

Because my guess is that’s maybe the biggest hurdle for many - feeling or looking foolish and “ungrown up” to others.  

If you need a place to start, then dance to Motown (or your favorite music) while cooking - I’ll let you steal that one from me. But here’s a PSA tip - don’t do it when anything is boiling.

Or, go pull your old toys out of the attic. Or go get new ones. They still sell Hot Wheels. I checked.

Go Play with your partner in the bedroom. And if you aren’t sure what that might look like, find out together. Even that part can be fun - and frankly, it should be. You’re in the bedroom...C’mon, man. 

This month, start looking to Play Again. Or Play Some More. Or with more people. 

I’ll update you here, on my radio show / podcast, and on my social media feeds about how I’m doing with it, and please let me know how it’s going for you.  

I’m betting you’ll be amazed at how fast it all comes back, and what it does for you now. 

It can even take you back in time like it did me, and in doing so make the present far better and the future more promising. 

We can all use more of all that. 

Once you are laughing like Matt and I did out on that street, you’ll know you’ve gotten there. 

And make no mistake - this is NOT about reliving your childhood. It’s about living NOW. Play is a human thing, not just a human kid thing. It’s necessary for all humans of all ages.

Your kids get it. Just ask them. Or better yet, show them. 

I’ll see you all again soon - I’ve just decided to combine dancing to Motown with my glider flying. Betcha someone videos that. Maybe I’ll go viral. 

Chins Up, Everyone. It’s a Play Day. 

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Thanks for reading My Sunday Post. Here are some important updates from my past week:

Soul Book of the Week: A Runner’s High by Dean Karnazes. He’s the best lunatic alive.

Book On My Nightstand: Pillow Thoughts by Courtney Peppernell

Best Show / Movie I Watched: Warrior, Season One (HBO). Chinese gang wars in 1870s SF. Epic.

Strongest Earworm Song: “How Come” by Ray LaMontagne

Best Triathlon Training Moment: Crushing a back-to-back ride and run in ninety minutes.

Favorite Hangout Shirt of the Week: This one. Because it’s the most comfy shirt in my closet.

Coolest Thing of the Week: Another space company - Blue Origin - offering tickets to space.

Thing I Know Now That I Didn’t Last Week: How amazing Incrediwear recovery gear really is

Most Helpful Perspective / Advice of the Week: “Your body wants to help you figure it out.”

Current Wanderlust List: 1) Still California; 2) Hawaii; 3) Any In-N-Out Burger